Once you love someone they stay in your heart forever and ever

They say, “Once you love someone they stay in your heart forever and ever…”

At first this was just a statement out of some book. But no one has escaped the golden arrow, it hits you when you think you are untouched by the feeling; love. This is when cupid takes aim and hits you right at the heart. There is no bloodshed, but what this arrow brings with it are emotions, love, lust happiness and sadness. It brings smile, tears and pain.

I remember the eyes, the tinkle in them I still see the words they spoke, her lips murmured, “I love you.” There was no voice, yet it was the verse that filled rainbow in my sky.

I never fell in love, I rose in love, I dreamt of watching those eyes each morning, serene like the dew on the green leaf, I wanted to share the tears of laughter, just to say, I will always be there for you. I wanted to say, just look around, I will always be there for you.

Her eyes made me paint my heart red, each day the sleep was like hibernating for the best moments, waiting endlessly to see her each day was like filling the heart with fresh air, her smell her hair, her walk, her talk they all were so perfect, they were to me, after all she was the world for me, as I was for her.

I made a promise I will smile for her see the new world through her eyes…I wanted to listen to her endlessly, I had so much more to learn, learning in love was for real. Each day was a new lesson. With her around me, I was strong, I felt like home. I realized I have got the dream I wanted, and will never let it go.

I wanted to wakeup each day, with her by my side, I wanted my arm to be her pillow. In the night when I could take her in my arm, run my fingers through her hairs, curl them, whisper in the middle of the night, “I love you” then lay a sweet gentle kiss on her eyes, embrace her in my warmth and watch her fall asleep like a baby.

I have seen her there for me. We will make a new world, make a new life, always to say to each other whenever you need, it will be me.

I only saw the golden arrow, piercing my heart, that was not all, it also had the tinge of venom, jealousy and the horror of losing her…I would wake up in the middle of the night, all sweating with the dream which I never wanted to come true, but it was a sign for me, as it did come true…

My tears did not melt the heart which my smile won over, my true words did not reach her, we were apart…I spend sleepless nights, I still cry, I have this shackle in my heart that make me hate her for leaving me, but then I cannot hate her, I miss her essence, her smile, her eyes, and mostly when I close my eyes I still see her standing and whispering, “I love you.” Oh the pain, it does not let me breathe, it make my heart shrink…

I don’t know what more to do, I try to overpower the anguish, but the night leaves me alone, and I am back at square one…someone somewhere …if they know please call out to the wind, and tell her, I want to hold her again, I want the love, that is now never to share.

I still want to be remembered, not for what I have become, but as the smile that spreads on the lovers lips when the first kiss send shivers to the spine, I want to be the first light that paints the sky with astonishing colors, I want to be remembered like the first touch of the newborn, I want to be the speech that flows out of the mother, when she holds her baby, I want to be remembered like the smell spread by the bud when it blooms to a flower, I want to be remembered like the first flatter of the wings that the butterfly makes…

I want to be remembered….after all they say, “When you love someone, they remain in the heart forever and ever.”

Loneliness – is it destined or chosen?

Loneliness is it the fate or the choice that we impound on ourselves without knowing that the future it would present to us? Times when we are in love and feel nothing but being on cloud nine, we see the whole new world, that’s just meant for the lovers and it seems like a paradise. Like all tests love has to face the wind of harsh realities that are materialistic yet known as bread to the world.

I can say I was in love and was tested…or better … we were in love…but we made choices… sure we did…

Now when I look back I have two eyes looking in the directions which are totally unknown to each other. One tells each one of us the choice made by each individual was right for them and wrong for other… We did not deserve each other….the other eye…my eye…looks at the same table…same place same day…yet tries to figure out why. Why could I not stop it…I did admit I was wrong…I wanted to start over…yet I felt I was losing the grip…I was … I did…

Each wrong decision made me learn…I paid the price…

I was strong to face the situation and make the best out of my emotions…but there was still the chemical left…that swiftly waits to release the right amount to bring the emotions running out of my eyes…

I look back … I think and I hate my guts as they do not let me wipe the emotion that made me loose…may be the worst loss of my life…I do not complain…I won to…but the winning never felt complete…

I felt alone to share the joy…it felt…just the same as any other day would…each time I reached a place we wanted…there was me…just me…people would feel happy as would I do…but the emptiness would remind the loss…

May be they are true about the true love … your first love never dies …but you die once…

I will still carry on…achieve what we dreamt…but I know I would be there …looking around…alone… all alone…

I still question my guts…was the loneliness destined…or was it chosen…

No matter what the answer be…the emptiness would remain…the smile will reflect the pain…

I will be the Tree

As a growing plant I always looked up to the lush tree by my side, it bestowed shadow, stood by me. It was filled with colors, the flowers and fruits painted the sky for me. I too wanted to grow up to be a strong tree…he smiled back too me.
Later seasons changed and I saw the tree shedding flowers and leaves helplessly and turned to mere skeleton, so weak… I was horrified …. I asked him, why? Again he smiled back at me and told me, whatever he says will not be understood by me, but sure in time it will be. I was upset and thought of the pain, felt angry for this state, yet confused to see him smile. Still he made me smile as he always did, telling me, “You will learn it all when you grow up like me.”

Years passed and I grew up to be a strong tree happy to be there …. I was shelter to many and played a key role to feed many…. My shadow was helping many creations of God…I felt nice about my existence… but when the seasons changed, I too suffered my worst sorrows, I shed my colors, neither the fruits nor the flowers remained. I felt all alone and no one came to me…I felt the end was near…. All the time I stood there I could do nothing but just think and think….

I could always relate myself to so many creations…. When I was lush and green my branches were shelter to the flock of birds that played on my arms and sang there heart out….I felt they are singing for me… I felt I was in love with them… I waited for them to return and I nourished their infants with all the care I could… I was sure I was in love … but I found out soon my believes were wrong… as neither the birds nor the infants stayed with me, when I needed them the most …..

I was also in love with those who cherished my shadow and thanked me for being there. I loved to see new love cherish by my comforts, loves praising the beauty and silence… I waited for them too… so they would sit next to me and praise me … I fed them with delicacy of my fruits and gave them tender smell, the flowers I wore spread the smell for them to return to me ….but once the flowers and fruits were ripped of my skin. They ignored me… When I shed the leaves they never returned…. I was so lost and confused…..I could not find answers….
I almost forgot and the best I could recollect was the tree I looked up to, he was still there, it was old now, yet I felt him there for me, I turned to the old tree…to my surprise, his answer remained the same, “with time I will learn all what I see”

I recognized the same smile that was there ages ago… the only difference this time was he questioned me for the first time. He asked me, “Kid, are you worried, or are you confused?” I was amazed by the question, as he knew what I was going through…I replied “both sir, but how do u know?” He smiled again and said, “I am old but remember I was also young one day.” I asked him for the answers I was looking for but the reply was the same…”time will teach you”

I was stood alone again…with no leaves, no flowers and no fruits… I caste the shadow but that was of my own skeleton…which was of no help to none …well the time went on, seasons changed once again to return what was lost… leaves, flowers and fruits….to my utter surprise all whom I missed or thought I loved returned …. I was more puzzled…..

After being gifted what was taken away, one night I stood alone in my thoughts I heard a voice “Son are you still confused and feel the haze?” I turned around but there was no one….I asked politely “who is this? Is it you sir?”
“I am God! Son don’t feel horrified”… I was zapped….I had mixed feelings, I had so much to ask, I had so much to tell. Now when I feel his presence and he is here talking to me I am in loss of words…..yet I gathered my courage and of course myself to ask God what was playing on my mind.
“Why is it that when I provide what others desire from me with all what I have, they are around me…and when I am deprived of what they like, they either rip me or just leave me alone and go away?”

God replied, “Son, were you really alone that time? I found needy people coming towards you and picking what you dropped….”,
For a second I thought and realized that people did pick up the old shed parts of me….God continued “you know they picked up these twigs and cut your branches because they knew your twigs can help them cook or make beautiful nests and the strong branches can help them craft, build boats, shelter and many uncountable objects…so do you think they left you? Did they not think about you?”

I felt comforted and proud; I asked God “I wanted them around me…as they were earlier”
God replied “Correct they were not there with you but that did not mean they forgot you… because if you realize they were there still the same for you when you were weak, and see now, they returned to you to be with you.”
In a way God was correct….. I mean he has to be… but then why was I feeling this haze…God continued “Son I have made you to serve others and I know you will live and die for it… but I know your emotions are bothering you…. So they should as I have crafted them….but your emotions are not a treasure if you want to captivate them ….. It is indeed a treasure to cherish, when you have the ability to let it go and allow it to meet its destiny….and for you the destiny is to let the love of your life fly or walk away….but I can assure you that without your presence in their individual they can not survive, as you cannot without them.”

I felt sad….and God sensed it….he said “I know you are sad to hear it but I am there with you and for you….even when you feel alone….after all, my special creations rests in my arms after they complete there span….”.
Those were the words that brought a smile and boosted me to stand tall….

God said “I am around when you need me…. never feel alone…. True love is to love some one so much that even if the person is not around you must not feel lost. Love will make you different and special it will fill your heart with the wisdom …and remember I let every one love but true love is attained by only chosen few who know to love without the fear of loosing….”

Then there was long silence and the voice was gone! I stood all alone amazed and I sensed the haze inside me evaporate…. I saw the dawn which presented a color which I saw daily, but this time it seems so different to me… the breeze reminded me of the presence of the holy being…. I was sure that I am the chosen one and even if I am not I will spread my love to be the one. I held no grudges…..In delight I turned around…the same old tree smiled at me and said “Kid you have all the answers and have learned and earned the lesson that you wanted to.”

I was relieved …. I could feel the same smile on my face…and I know this will remain on with me forever…as now I have the motive to love unconditionally…

Box of Chocolates

Life ….this word has always been the center of attraction for all those who have been longing to make sense out of each moment. Well that includes me as well.

One fine day I was enjoying celluloid named “FOREST GUMP” and I must admit that it was a real piece of art. Worth all the Oscars it bagged!!!

Let me not get into the details.

While I was enjoying each incidence flawlessly crafted with the blend of real talent (for both, actor and director) there was a punch that shook my bones…Let me project the frame …here is our actor sitting on the park bench trying to have a chat with an unknown female who is waiting for the next bus…. Our actor is holding a box of chocolate and then he tells the female, “My mama told me ….Forest life is a box of chocolates…you never know what you get…” This statement woke me to think back.

Now how serene and true is this…thinking for a second we will agree on two facts…..one, chocolates are loved by all ages and the next chocolate tastes more delicious than the first one….YUM….and the second is our life is full of surprises’….the cuisine of spice offered by life may bring tears or smiles to our faces….but the fact remains thatlife takes care of everyone, no one keeps has any taste for life long… else the balance will topple….

Now how many times have we asked ourselves ...What am I doing? Where is life talking me? What do I want? Why am I in pain? Why do I see people happy and why can’t I be the same? What do I do to make people who love me happy? What’s wrong with me? Why just I don’t die to settle every thing once and for all?

Striking!!! No one can deny these questions….and why should one because sometime or the other we all have come across these questions…and the common part amongst all of us is, these feelings head strong when we feel LOW…or we want peace…we raise these queries and wait for our conscious to answers all these mind boggling queries.

I won’t say this is insane …. No it is not…it can’t be….but all I can tell is, this is what life offers … a variety of taste in life….it is not permanent and I can assure that …just few taste …obviously bitter stays longer…or looks to stay longer…now why is that ??The rules is simple and crystal clear….we try to question each moment of sadness or loneliness but we forget to live each moment of happiness…and once the happy phase is over… tough time knocks our doors we feel how can God be so cruel…can’t I have just few days in my life filled with happiness…. Think again…why we feel so heavy when the phase is bitter because we are always aiming for the other phase and till the point we don’t get it we keep on lingering to the fact that think are never going to be PERFECT in my life…and once the phase changes we have to question again stating, I get what I want after burning my blood and soul….

I do ask myself what is right and wrong and how to face each moment …. But believe me or not its not easy to get answers …on the contrary it is not impossible too….

I know myself better than anyone else and I know how to motivate myself. For this you may need company of dear once…but the real motivation lives inside us and that I keep with me always, which provide me the strength to judge between right and wrong…good and bad…and it also stands by me, pumps me up to face the toughest moment of life.

Coming back to our Box of chocolates, let’s remember for a second the happiest moment and the saddest moment in our lives …. Think ….now what would have struck all of us…I know its hard to recollect more than a couple of happy moments ….but the queue of the moments that almost made you drown in your own tears are over whelming….why is that…how it can be a balance….But the answer is within us….whenever a happy, joyous moment or incidence occurs we try and weigh it….in a measure of small or exemplary ….but when the situation is adverse…we have to agree, it seems to be the toughest….so who is overlooking the balance….

Ask yourself questions…and give it time to find answers…and never loose trust in yourself nor question it….if you know yourself ….which is always far more informative and reliable than any individual can provide….you can keep the faith alive and I know you can sail in life….but never bother about the tides….remember you can meet a shark or find the treasure of pearls …..For you never know….what the box of chocolates has to offer…..

Antidote of Life - Sweet sound of Silence !!!

For the first time the unborn baby makes move in the womb, the mother hears the sound and she is elated, the infant loves the warmth of the mother and the music it hears…yes music that is the heart beat of the best creation on earth.... Mother… ever wondered why the mother carries the baby more on the left side than the right side just because the child recognizes the heart beat and feels safe in her arms…

The mother and child talk to each other by the heart beats the mother murmurs the sweet songs and jingles so that the baby feels happy and feels safe… this is the beauty of silence which we first encounter in our lives….. but as we grow this silence takes varied forms, the sweet silence only is visible when we sleep, such that when a baby is sleeping we never miss a chance to say “how sweetly or innocently or how silently the baby is sleeping”…..Well that's one of the best part silence has….

But as our lives moves ahead and races with the load of responsibilities surmounted with the tension and stress we are in deep desire of this silence that can make us spiritually and mentally overwhelmed…but do we really get the silence? There is a very famous quote that reads “Every body hurts and everybody cries…sometime”.

How true!!! This is can only be measured by a person who knows how to cry their heart out…..still always remember, everybody cries sometime…

Remember the time when we are hurt by the deeds of our near and dear ones, or by the person who is really special to us and has made the whole life a real canvas with the shades of the rainbow…how does it feel then… there can be countless words to express this “devastated, deserted, heart robbed, heart broken dead weak….so on and so forth” But as we are in this pain and agony what remains with us is the silence which acts as antidote and the time acts as the healer…..lets concentrate more on the antidote “Silence” ….a valid question crosses the mind why silence? Why not time?

Silence gives us the real space and acts as the mirror so that we can talk to ourselves and console the real pain and make ourselves stronger to take on the emotional rage….

I asked myself what it is with silence that I like more. The answer came almost instantly the love of being me!!! How is that possible??

It is when I am all alone silence makes me talk to God and devil both they enrich me with there brilliant plans to take on the world… God tells me come whatever may son don’t give up hope… this is a test and if you pass it I will carry you in my arms and fill your life with the jewels that the world has nerve seen...emotions, caring and love. On the other hand the devil tells me his share of the story … he tells me to repell, give back more pain to the person than what I have faced because of him/her…why should I suffer I will make others suffer and counter attack strategies and what not…

But the real catch is that silence allows us to hear all this and reminds us of our core strengths and lets us choose the side that can bring peace to our life or can make our life more miserable….

Silence remains as the companion in our grief’s and sorrows and brings out a new dimension for our thinking and understanding which is termed as maturity or stupidity depending on the side we choose…

Silence is such an important ingredient in our life that we just don’t realize the true value that it has…ask a student what silence means to him while he is studying, as a librarian why silence is required at the library when we have so much knowledge to speak for itself, ask a priest why he meditates in silence, ask lovers why they enjoy silence when they are together….the answer are tough to understand and digest…..yet they are serene!!!

Silence has its own language which is not understood by all , this is a language that is holy and is pure this is the companion which embraces you once you are done with life and this is the only medium that makes you talk to yourself and in turns lets you talk to God……

Try to hear your heart beat and the first thing you require is silence and once you hear your heart beat you find there are so many questions that are unanswered and there is so much that needs to be done…

Try to hear the sound of silence and trust your heart… coz the sound that touches your heart most is the sound of silence… when you cry the silence listens to you and make you weep till the point you realize the value of your own emotions and the worth of tears….its silence that respects your anger and calms it down, its silence that brings a pleasant smile on your face. When you think of a special person, it is silence that makes you take the best decisions of your life….

The value of silence can be understood only when we don’t fear silence and it’s a fact that people are actually afraid of silence….. but what we don’t realize that we are fearing a companion who was with us since birth and walked all the way with us while we ignored it, stamping it as silly emotion but the fact remains intact, that silence really awaits us to unite with us once we perish to our afterlife…

After all what remains is silence and that is where people remeber us when we are gone...

Is the instant happiness worth the laugh or the distant pain more agonizing ???

Each day that passes by makes a new mark in our life…. We just rate it in the scale of frustration, happiness or sorrow…. But each moment lived has a deep meaning which every individual needs to remember and learn…after all, these are the lessons that are crafted by God and God sees to it that each child learns all the lessons in life no matter how hard it may be … so that we live life to the fullest…

But turn around and see the world… what do we see? We see the people have changed the world according to their own comfort and own desires… but in this run we forget that God still keeps a close watch on each of us…. Shows us signs which are omens… the wise interpret and the foolish ignore them…

The wise may have to deal a hard life, make tough decisions and live with harsh reality but at the end the peace of mind is what matters that is where we meet God and he welcomes us with open arms and takes all our pain and sorrows and fill our life with the treasure of joy and happiness…on the other hand the foolish having no wisdom…wisdom to transform the omens to real life events… they think they are happy with the current happiness and they are having no worries… but wise knows “instant unplanned gains are dangerous than distant loss”.

What today’s world has cultivated is the breed of emotionless individual who do not care about future they want to live life at a full blast and care for nothing… but there are a rare few who still believe in emotions, who cares for love and who still think that God lives in them …. For others it might be Cinderella story or a fairy tale, but for those who believe in love and feelings, it’s the only ground which makes them walk the road of life peacefully….

I am really surprised to see the world go fanatic day by day… each time I smile I find others smiling too but with so much cosmetics added to their laughter …. There laugh is not the true reflection of the joy… but each time I cry I see those who are crying have realized that their feelings have died and what they are left with are the tears for which the existing world have no time nor the sympathy… that is where people realize they are so alone and there approach was so wrong….

Yet I am happy to be in the wiser cult who are prepared to walk all tests and are made up of a heart with pure gold and are never left alone because for such people there pain and agony becomes there healer and God makes them meet their own kind, who are the chosen one ……that is how life gifts them and nourishes them for their deeds and acts….

Now you decide, is the instant happiness worth the laugh or the distant pain more agonizing???

The Loner Angel who touched me...

In you I found a loner wanting to talk your heart out… but each time you planned to do so your inner voice muted you … call it fear or call it anger but you never found a companion who could understand or see the sorrows that arose each moment inside you…. You waited long and somewhere deep down this ray of hope was fading and you were preparing yourself to be strong like the anchor in the storm…

You had stored so much in you but it never broke loose……you thought you would walk the road of life alone and never feel weak …..you were the only one walking on the road….no one was to be seen or heard any where close to you nor did you bother…coz the more you bothered the more pain and tears you received… but that was not the end…. Coz that was just the beginning …

You always dreamed the world to understand you…. This feeling dipped day by day since each effort that you made was not cared about… so you started to dream that one day the world might understand you…in turn you wanted the world as a gift… but life took a sudden turn and things which made you smile brought tears… you cried… thinking the world might understand your sorrows but what you got in return was not what you expected… then you thought that your dream was never to come true… and more to it you thought that your smile has been taken by situations over which you had so much faith and confidence…..

Despite all this your soul had this dream registered inside and waited for the right moment ….. after all those who have the power to dream can chase there dreams and will attain them one day…. Coz God tests us all ….. and then when we are at the verge of giving up he holds our hands and nourishes happiness in abundance……

You were leading your life in a way that you were successful to hide all your pains and emotions…. But as some wise said “Not all sorrows last long” it became true … coz I joined you in your journey and I made you see what I see…. I saw an angel walking alone ….. with so many pigeons trying to rest on your shoulder… but they could not do so since you were very depressed … they flattered there wings hard so that your tears are gone and you can feel the cool breeze of peace… but that did not help… so I joined my angel and showed her the mirror ….

Then came a new dawn where I saw smile and the dream that was left alone from a long time, coming back to life….. in your journey the road you took was the same on which I was walking… though I was also quite but after meeting you my voice got a new age and a new dimension…. I wanted to see you fly and I know you would … coz you have wings that are blessed with God and you have a healing touch….

These words that are written each have a deep meaning and the more you read them the more you learn that you are unique ….you are an angel and for angels the tests are tough and life is never easy …. But what lasts are the memories left inscribed deep on the hearts of all those whom you touch….

Trust my words you have touched me in a way no one has ever done so … I thank God for this…. I cannot thank you because thanking you will be doing injustice to what all you did ….. after all….each deed cant be thanked upon you have to be lucky enough to be a part of it and .....

so am I the Lucky one… who has been touch by an Angel….

The painter who painted me

Once there was a child who had a dream, he smiled in the peaceful sleep, woke up with the same smile, yet felt a hole, “Yes he said, I have to share this!” The mere feeling gave him shivers…he ran around to share… but the words seemed so deaf. Some laughed some ignored…

He sat quietly…thinking no one there to hear…so with a sulk he took a long gulp and forgot the dream. “It’s just a dream. I was stupid.”

Over the years he grew and the negligence crave in till the time he had to burst and tell the world, listen to me…I have to speak, I am choking. His yell was deemed as frustration and yet the result was same. No one bothered, some ignored, some consoled…but no one listened…There he saw a man with missing legs, a twisted arm, sitting in the sun with the brush in the only mobile limb, he was paining and admiring his work, at first I ignored him, then I realized no one was paying me any attention so let me shake the feeling of ignorance and see what he is painting.

He painted life like portraits, beautiful sea, lush mountains and waving trees, I looked at his work in progress, and he was painting a child play with a torn kite, in a park filled with people, who were busy in their own world. Few were seen laughing, and the ignorant few were in progress. Each time he had to change the brush he would stick the brush in his twisted arm. The limb portrayed a lifeless brush stand. Yet he was not moved by any of this. How can this be…is he so used to it?

I saw people passing with this man getting unnoticed and those who noticed would be there to get the attractive piece for as cheap price as they could. Couple to times I saw him leaving his creation and trying to sell the painting to some curios pedestrians who would end up bargaining and suggesting the work is not worth the price. Felt Da-vinci’s are all on road.

He returned to his art without a sulk, he had a smile when he painted the ignorant faces, I was stunned to see the majestic work he was creating suddenly I saw the light, I realized I could related to the kid in the park and the kite, the ignorant people…I asked the man, can I purchase the painting, he was stunned to see a man asking for a unfinished painting, yet in a flash he turned into a confident man and revolted, “I earn my bread by selling not by pity.” For a moment I was lost in what he said only to realize that I have hurt his esteem. I sat down, only to make him uncomfortable.

I told him I need the painting as it reflected me in all ways, and I am not doing any pity. He mellowed down and asked me to finish it. I could not refuse. After an hour he was done and in an act of scrutinizing he gave a look of work done. I was eager to have this piece…he smiled and said, “Son eagerness is good, but is like a cloud that hides the light.” I was eyes wide open to hear the remark…between my amusement he told me the paining needs to dry or else my connection to the painting will be lost in the spread of colors…

As I was seated he placed the paining in the sun allowing it to dry, I sat there studying it inch by inch…His voice woke me up, “Will dry in about half hour as the sun is at the peak.” I asked him, “How long have you been painting?” I saw his face with lines of relief written all over, I knew this since I shared the same gestures at the time I finished something I worked hard on. He said he started painting to portray his feelings and to earn money for the bread. Astonished I could not think how a man with so much pain can reflect feelings filled with smile… I had to ask him about the pain and his state to which his reply was as simple as it could be, “I could not do much about this…yes I was upset and angry, but no one cares so why must I be sad, I have a life, I can live it in pain or vain which now I am used to but then I can atleast put the smile I miss on the piece of paper.”

He asked me, “How can you relate yourself to this painting?” I took a deep sigh and explained to him, “The kid filled with the emotions of Joy is what I see as myself with the dream of flying the torn kite, which people laugh at. The park reflects the world around me with whom I want to share yet they are deaf and blind to my emotions. The Kite is my feelings which look torn from outside, but they are the means of sunshine which breaks free to hit my face amidst the breeze.”

“Are you a writer?” his words rang a bell, “No I am not” I said with some uncomfortable feeling. He smiled and said “Well your painting is dry, may you find what u are looking for.” I paid him what he asked, though he was surprised as there was no bargain. Yet before our see off I said to him, “I am not a writer, but thanks to you, now I am.” He said, “Neither am I a painter, but because of him I am.” His finger raising high in the bright sky.

When I look back now I find, what made him different was the way he expressed his emotions, that is what I was looking for, but in turn of finding one I was cursing and blaming, until someone showed me the real meaning. And who best but someone higher pain can teach me that.

I have seen people questioning the hardship, the tests they have to go through, the challenges they have to face, the obstacles they have to overcome, but in all this the emotions that they want to share turn into curse and blame. We all have some dreams and emotions to share with someone, but when we don’t find the ear or eye we shut the emotions in a box and forget it till the pile weighs more than our own soul and we reach the point of losing the battle of life.

Whenever I was alone and wanted to talk I could not find anyone, so I would be asking questions blaming the moment, well that is a way of expression, but not the true emotions to be shared were long lost. After the brief encounter with the painter, I used my pen to express the feelings often I went to the park with a bench by the side of a tree shadowing the bench, I spoke endlessly finding someone to hear me out silently. The tree! Yes the tree would laugh with me when I was happy, it would be calm to hear me, it would shade me when I was lonely, it would comfort me with the breeze when I would be in harsh time, but each time our conversation will remain in my heart which I could easily narrate in words which I can scribble. After the scribble, I can still see the expression if JOB DONE…written all over me to make me

Rest In Peace !!!

My lost Love - Words for thou

I have been around this world I have seen a million faces but the one that makes thousand words silent makes each feeling so violent that face is the one in my eyes and is the face which has your eyes.

Now this may sound flirting but it is true you are in my eyes my heart and this feeling can never part. Though I see you and pass no words but we talk with those undressed eyes and each time I appreciate your beauty the shine in those eyes take my breath away and I freeze in your eyes.

I long to talk and to hear but I fear the worst, this silence has its own pain and relaxation, no matter how hard I try I try I can never approach and ask you out all I can say is you are the one who keep me spell bound.

With each word uttered low or loud I am there to hear them throughout, when will you share the words and let me in your world. I know your eyes try to say a lot but I think your words are also falling short.

I want to smell the fragrance that you spread in the air I know I am at a distance but I can still smell your air. It feels like my heart will pop out when I see you smiling and laughing especially when the words are not mine.

I know you love to make me jealous by sharing your wit with others, I know it all. But let me tell you I am jealous and you are victorious but now come to me and celebrate the victory and make all this golden history.

The lift of your eyes when I pass by make my heart melt I feel special, your glare makes my eyes dry. When will my charm work or to say when will your charm come in my arm.

I am not sure if you know but I long to hear each word you whisper, I wish I was near and each word fall in my ear but the fate has given me nothing but fear.

Each passing day this feeling is rousing high, trust me this is not a lie. I want you and I mean it but I think even if I die I will see you smile and never standing close by.

I am not at peace but in my dreams you are still with me with each and every piece and I am more than sure this castle I have built with the mighty walls will never ever fall.

I may sound a coward but the fear of losing you is much powerful than you and I being on the same shore, though that may just be a dream but I never want to leave that shore.

And I wish you too be there with me, for there is nothing more I can see.